Pride vs. Arrogance

Good thing that I have pride in myself! Otherwise I would really have a problem with all the arrogance I see. Wait… I do have a problem with it. As with almost every value and principle I was taught growing up the difference between pride and arrogance has blurred quite a bit. You see it is a very good thing to have pride in yourself. And the other side of the coin is that it is not so good to be arrogant. I will give my take on what I see and feel. You can agree or disagree, but I hope to create a thought about it and from that you can help bring about change.

Pride is something that I was shown from family and friends from as early as I can remember. My mother would tell me when I accomplished a task that the feeling I was having was pride! I liked it and from then on I did the best I could,(most of the time) so that I could have that feeling again. Through the years, I have tried to live my life, so that overall I could feel pride in myself as a person. This means that through my actions from day to day I have lived a life to feel pride as a human being. I have many people around me that I can say deserve to be proud of themselves. And there are many that do not and should not be proud of themselves. The funny thing is that the ones deserving are just living their lives and the ones that don’t are shouting about how proud they are and that’s why they cannot be any other way.

You see when you are worthy of feeling pride you are working at it and never telling anyone about it, because it’s your way of life. True pride in oneself  goes hand in hand with humility. When you use pride as an excuse, it’s not pride, it’s arrogance! There are so many people with a skewed view of pride that I feel it’s tearing away at our overall ability to get along. I’ve heard it so many times…ohhh he’s not mean it’s just his pride you know!! No he’s an arrogant, self-centered asshole!  These people that move about in life as if there is nobody but themselves around is crazy. I was driving home the other day and a woman ran a stop sign, causing me to slam on my brakes so as to avoid a collision. I look at her and she barely noticed I was there because her focus was on her phone. I see them everywhere, not holding a door open for a person who needs a hand. At the grocery store last week I let an elderly lady in line in front of me because she had only two items. And the grumbling from behind me was rediculous. Where is our humanity?

As the technology industry grows, I’m certain that we will have our cell phones embedded in our skulls soon, we will snap our heads to the left to answer, and to the right to hang up. From this people will be more connected to their small group and ignore the rest of the world and we as a people will no longer exist. Pride in living a life of respect and community will disappear. There will be small groups of people thinking they are too proud to connect with anyone that they do not know and not even realize that in fact they are diving deep into the arrogance of their own sef-worth. Thus destroying the fabric on which we were founded.

People need to wake up in America! It is a fact that there are many places in this world that will not allow children  to have cell phones. They know that you miss out on the world around you if your are glued to an electronic device. Not in America mind you! Ohh no we cannot do that, because if we did it would make the adults lives more difficult. They would have to talk to their children, take an interest in their lives, not have the ability to be self-absorbed with their own lives, and finally teach their kids that there is right and wrong and how to tell the difference between the two. Thus, from this they would in fact teach the children, how to have pride in themselves as human beings, and not be so arrogant as to think they are the only ones that matter in this world. Thank you and you can leave comments they are welcome!!!

Rules

From the beginning of life there are rules. Fire is hot, don’t touch it! When I came into this world it was a much different time than it is now. We were given a set of rules to live by and we did it. Had we not, there were consequenses some were physically painful, some were emotional. But through them we learned how to become responsible members of society. Because in society there are another set of rules and they are actually easier to follow than all the ones growing up. This is the joy of becoming an adult, the reins are in your hands now.

So, here we are in 2009 and there are at least 2 generations that didn’t have to live by that set of rules. Now, they are adults and they make the same mistakes they did as children. Because it wasn’t wrong when they were a kid, why should it be now? Thus we have the crumbling of the structure that we depended on for so many years and that was the American Dream! You see the dream should still be alive for those who have yet to come into this world. There are a few shinning examples still out there that give me hope that one day it will live again. The American Dream meant different things to everyone, but the core of it is simple. Go to school and get an education from it. Go to college and gain a career from it. Find love and wrap yourself in it. Get married and grow your family. Retire and have your grandchildren run around and be happy. Die knowing you left nothing on the table.

How did we get from there to here? Simple actually, none of us liked the rules as kids. Speak when spoken to, do what your told. Do your chores. Keep your room clean. Keep yourself clean. Do good in school…. Ahhh it was torture. Suffering the physical results of not following the rules was tough. From this there are some that saw it as a lesson learned and didn’t make those mistakes again and evolved. Some however, used what was hapenning as fodder to rebel. Not then mind you, but later when they had kids of their own. I’ve heard it a million times, I would never do that to my kids. Don’t get me wrong some people did have it awful. But we cannot condemn the idea for a few tragic results. I hated the “go outside” when my folks had people over, because I knew something amazing was going to happen and I wasn’t going to see it! You learned to respect them and now as an adult and having those close to me with children. I know why we were told to go, you cannot carry a conversation with a kid in the room, nor can you talk as an adult in front of them. This had another edge to the sword as well. Children think that they deserve as much respect as an adult. And what”s worse they have parents that think that as well. WRONG!! Listen people I have suffered, lived, cried, laughed, and held lives in my hands. There is no intelligent person that thinks a kid deserves as much respect as I. I took a long time getting here and that is what it’s all about. Earning respect, not simply having it handed to you. I never ask for anyone’s respect. I do my level best to earn through my actions. There are still rules mind you and that is why our judicial system is overrun now.

What’s the answer? It’s not easy nor is it feasible. It would and does take parents actually raising their kids and not just living with them. This means making the hard decisions and sticking to them. The children didn’t ask to come into this world, you made that choice for them. It is your resposiblity to give them the rules to govern their lives so that when they have the reins in their own hands they make the right choices. Their adult life good or bad is on you! Take the opportunity to make it a better world and raise your children right. because remember it is they that will take care of you when you no longer can. Thank you for reading this, I feel better now.